Jaye Trade Blogs

A Trading Journey

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About

On a journey of love, hardship, and fulfillment, I spend my time documenting my journey through writing while working toward my goals.
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  • Busy Times, A Lot Going On – Weekly Update 3

    Strides with time.

    Hello again, this is more of a personal update than reflective one on my journey, however I feel the result won’t change and I’ll be talking about similar topics regardless. As far as my day goes, I’ve had a massive restructure meant to assist me on the mental aspects of my journey as a trader, as well as promoting a form of discipline in attempting to limit my active trading time – On that note, I don’t believe specific times are required to have success in trading, although many do feel that way, it’s my belief that I can trade at whatever time available, and the only requirement is my adaptation to certain market conditions such as volume and volatility. It does happen to be the case for me however I trade a bit better during the U.S. Pre-Market, Market Open, as well as the U.S. Market hours, so limiting my active trading to these hours should in theory assist in me being more in the zone during a time that matters more.

    To that regard, the recent changes I’ve imposed on my situation have proven fruitful, as I have been not only finding myself trading with a much higher performance level, but consistently so as well, alongside the added benefit of being able to understand market patterns on a much deeper level through added insight in my studies and personal observations. Perspective has truly proven to be the aspect that can make or break my results for trading, so I’m thankful to have stumbled upon what it’s like to trade under the full scope of the proper mindset, as now that I have seen and experienced that change, I know within me there’s no going back and that this entire experience has been a major milestone in my journey moving forward.

    All of that being said, the time dedicated toward bettering myself, my work, and overall aligning myself with who I have to be to reach who I know I’ll become has definitely been encompassing. I fear the time I have for other aspects of my life such as writing posts like this does seem to be dwindling, though my love for doing it is no less, I simply must make the effort to find the moments like this one. I don’t wish to cause the illusion that I’m unhappy because of this, as I just accept my fate, whatever it is standing before me, and move forward. Even though I have less time for writing, I still journal for my progress and myself, so it’s not all too bad, and at the end of the day, I am continuing to make strides toward my goals and passion, which is always a win, no matter the circumstance.

    Conclusion

    It’s been short and concise, but as always I find myself grateful to have had the chance to write like this, and express my thoughts and emotions in a personal yet open manner. I hope you find yourself well, and maybe find the time for whatever it is you’re wanting in life.

    Take care of yourself, and find your moments. – JayesusR

  • The Cycles Life Offers

    My Personal View and Experience.

    Hello, I feel it’s been a second since taking the time to write like this. Truth is I’ve found myself quite busy with a lot of different situations in my life. Road trip driving, personal scheduling, planning. This kind of stuff can really take a lot of time out of the day to get stuff done, especially on top of the work I dedicate myself to. I’ve been struggling to feel I have the time to actually write something down, on top of just struggling on what I want to write about. I love writing, and sometimes I just want to write just to write, but the truth is, I go through moments in time where I can’t “Just write.” without structure, kind of how I tend to do on here. Journaling is easier in this sense for me, because all I’m doing is writing down specific information to essentially make note of it, whether its my emotional state, or a break through in my trading, even just relevant context for them.

    That struggle to find myself able to write is actually an example of a cycle I tend to go through. Sometimes I have phases where I can write nonstop for hours just rambling on the thoughts in my head and creating competent (at least semi-competent) literature. Others, blank state of mind. It’s not as though I don’t want to write, its almost as though I feel incapable of doing it in a meaningful manner, even though I still have a plethora of subjects I want to write on.

    This isn’t the only context I’ve taken note of this in. I look back to situations in my life and realize all the different times where I go through phases almost, whether its micro context such as shifts in my daily routines, or broader such as the changes I see within me repeat with the seasons, life tends to come back around to some degree.

    I don’t believe this to always be the same. I have an extremely dynamic view on most things in life as I tend to take plenty of separate information and build on it, and this goes for the cycles of my life as well. I view it as these cycles are more similar than exact, with big change mostly coming from purposeful action to either break a cycle, refine it, or no change, and leaving it alone entirely. Recently I’ve had a break through (and feel as though I’m frequently coming across them) in my work, and was hit with the realization of this.

    I went through a full cycle of growth within me, psychologically, emotionally, and in terms of how I approach the market, methodically. Looking back on it, I see how I’ve come full circle, not once even, but at this point twice. It’s the result of my constant effort to build and harbor change for the better within my life, but honestly, catching this has caused some reflection. I can see the cycle I must go through in my ventures to achieve success. I can see the way I’ve had to tear myself down to the core, and rebuild time and time again, only to end up somewhere similar to before, but this time better, refined, and with clearer understanding.

    I truly find it surprising how much context can shift, or add perspective to anything in life. This naturally goes for my work as well, and seeing the result of this effort does tend to feel more surreal than it should. Of course progress in any venture of life requires constant effort, but when we look back on past situations, I at least tend to find myself constantly in awe of the results said effort yielded. In the present it can be so hard to see progress in anything, and personally I tend to hold myself to an unfair standard in current perspective, however I find that when looking back, I can be much more understanding sometimes toward what happened, and what caused the shifts. It’s honestly because present me can be grateful to past me for the hardships endured, because thanks to that struggle, I am able to find myself where I am today in terms of current results, even if the everlasting work of constant betterment proves unending.

    Conclusion

    It feels good to find myself writing again, though I never feel I have the time. I don’t know how consistently I’ll be posting as I’ve been caught up with more than I was before, but any chance I get I definitely look forward to being able to express my thoughts on here. This is probably just another phase in my cycle so to speak, and most likely I’ll find myself with more time again at some point in the future. Until then, I look forward to these moments where I find myself able to spend time writing.

    I hope you enjoyed the read, take care. – JayesusR

  • My Endless Journey – Weekly Update 2

    Shifts In Everything.

    This has been a very eventful week, as has been every week since moving back to my hometown almost a year ago now. I’ve gone through the full spectrum of my emotions to varying degrees on multiple occasions, I’ve continued to make changes in myself and the work I do, and I’ve been reading some more of my books to assist me in the changes I need to make.

    In terms of my trading, I’ve been having more and more success in the accuracy, risk management, and understanding of the different trade approaches I must make based on market conditions. Coming to the realizations and understanding I’ve gotten to has taken a lot of learning, practice, and overall effort in my consistency and stubbornness to learn. I’m constantly making adjustments to the way I view everything, hoping that the refinements I make from more understanding will lead to better results. I’m happy to say that as with previous weeks, but definitely more exaggerated this one, I’ve made heaps of progress in all senses. Its funny how the constant exposure to the market seems to truly grow your intuition to the movements on the screen before you. I’ve been greatly adjusting and improving my intuition and clarity towards the way that the markets move, on top of the changes made to how I want to actually approach my entries, but I had a bit of an epiphany this week, a bigger one than other weeks.

    After reading some of my books, the words being said made sense to me, like a lot of sense. I understood exactly what was being mentioned, shown, and explained. It wasn’t perfect, but I found myself grounded enough to capture from the literature in a way that stuck. Excited, I quickly got to practicing and applying what I felt I learned, to quickly be met with success. That change made the floodgates open, and now it feels like I’m in a whole new world, again. Much for the better though, as in this one I didn’t only make a step in my journey, I reached a fork point in the road, and after making my choice I found myself in a plethora of shifts to the new ventures toward understanding, as well as success. That being said, the journey’s never over, and these new changes only breed the progress made up until this point, just as this point will lead to the next and so forth until the end of my days. I’m happy to say however that with these changes come changes in myself toward myself. As with any goals, it always feel reassuring to find progress in the process, and I find myself no different in that regard.

    Conclusion

    I don’t think I’ll ever talk about the specifics to my journey, not here, not really with most if any. My journey is far too personal to involve the viewpoints of others, and what I strive for, as well as the progress I see being for me and me alone. I’m not trying to come off as rude, I just feel it’s important to clarify, as you’re here, reading my post, maybe expecting talk of strategy, concepts, market conditions. That will most likely never be the case, as the complexities and understandings that fall into this process are far too great to put into words in all regards, and hold no true value to either of us. This journey is one you can only come to understand once you dedicate yourself to the path before you, and climb up the endless mountain where you’ll come across every possible and impossible scenario you would’ve never imagined.

    Thank you for reading. – JayesusR

  • The Truth to Failure

    And Why it Means You’ll Succeed.

    I think most of us when looking back to the moment that shaped us, would be inclined to agree with the idea that success in any venture required hardships to overcome. Without the difficulties to surpass, there would be no goal to work toward, no future to dream of, and no story to tell, for even the hardest of metals, require to be melted down, molded, and reinforced before taking on the shape they’re meant to become. But we are not like metal, for our ventures can’t be achieved so easily. No, if we were compared to the metals we melt, and the shapes they become, then we would as humans have to be melted down and shaped many times beyond measure, before achieving our true form. Life isn’t so simple, and often times the hardest battles we face are truly within ourselves.

    In all aspects to life you can find balance, as it is a fundamental aspect to existence. Look to nature, the stars, or within, balance is key to anything and everything in life. Good can’t exist without bad for comparison, no justice without crimes, joy without sorrow, success, without failure. Every time you fail, you’re given the choice to get back up. Every failure is an opportunity to learn, to grow, to overcome, and to eventually succeed. Anyone can get lucky, anyone can succeed the first time, second, third and so forth, but all luck has its bounds, and without achieving success through the hardships required to keep it is a fleeting venture that leads only to disappointment. Many aren’t ready to accept the responsibility to themselves toward a brighter future where they must hold the resolve to fail many times over, or to have the faith necessary in themselves to hold accountable for the success that can be made possible. We’re all capable of greatness, but possibility doesn’t care for your capabilities, only for the effort you’re willing to put forth to make it reality.

    Learn to Embrace Shortcomings.

    Acceptance doesn’t mean passiveness if purposefully not allowed. Acceptance can become acknowledgement, the first step to understanding, and understanding something leaves room to learn from it. This is the cycle of success with failure, and learning to love this process as any other passion harbors the seeds to growth to any venture in life.

    Nothing ever comes easy in this life however, and learning to love the process of failure can be truly difficult when faced with constant adversity. Unfortunately, and fortunately, there are no shortcuts to success. Just keep pushing forward, staying ever present to the circumstances being faced, but understanding the actions you take shape the future you desire. With every failure comes wisdom, with wisdom growth, with growth, success. Accept that this time might be hard, but if next time is even a little bit easier, then you’re doing something right and learning. Try to give yourself some grace, as life was never meant to be easy, for if it was, we wouldn’t be able to enjoy the process of growing, and that in of itself is its own reward. Nothing beats overcoming adversity, especially personal challenges, and though tedious, as well as frustrating, it’s always a worthwhile venture to succeed in a place where I once failed.

    Conclusion

    The road to self mastery is a never ending path, but one we all must go down. Life will never be truly easy, and to me that’s okay. One day I’ll look back to where I am today with true understanding to what I had to go through. Until that day however, all I can do is out one foot in front of the other and take it by the day.

    Believe in yourself, for you are more capable than you will ever know. – JayesusR

  • Work Life Balance

    Difficulties in Finding Time.

    The amount of time we have in our lives is by default limited. Every action, sequence, and consequence is the build up of everything we’ve gone through, leading to what we will go through. Time itself is challenging to deal with. It’s the very thing that makes the human experience unique, beautiful, and worth it, but finding a way to use it efficiently doesn’t always work out.

    Attempting to find this perfect balance in my priorities has proved rather difficult, as my actions are almost opposite of each other. I want to have time for my family, so I work toward my future, but to work toward my future I require time dedicated to my craft, taking away time for my family. It’s a sacrifice I’m all too willing to make as I try to have a bigger picture view on my life, but the reality to it isn’t so simple. I love my family, but I also love the work I dedicate myself too. There isn’t anything inherently wrong with this, I feel it’s great that I have something I can focus on that I love, but the truth is, I’m still doing it in order to eventually free up my schedule. Because of these opposing views I have, as well as understanding both sides, I’m caught up in constant conflict within myself. I feel guilty if I spend time toward my craft, as its time away from the people I love, but if I spend time with them, I feel as though I’m behaving lazily toward my goals, and not putting forth the effort required to achieve my dreams.

    Living in The Moment.

    The solution to this sounds simple on paper – Dedicate separate time for both, without allowing the inner thoughts of my brain to lean me away from being in the moment, this way I get to an extent the best of both worlds. Quieting the mind however isn’t an easy task, and even when I’m caught up spending time with those I love, my mind seems to love wandering and attempting to push me toward perfecting my craft.

    The truth is regardless of the circumstance I find myself in, it doesn’t take away from the present moment. Whether I’m with my family, or attempting to further myself, all I can do is live in every moment, and look forward to the next. Scenarios may vary, but life continues regardless. I guess what I’m trying to say is, dedicating my best self to any action I’m doing is the most I’m capable of. Overthinking doesn’t do anything, and attempting to force myself into a system doesn’t work for me either. I’ve always been very dynamic in my view and approach toward life, so flowing with the waves within it is what I can attempt to do best. I’ll never get it perfect, but I can promise this way that regardless of the situation, finding myself riding the waves of my life is always a possibility. I may fail and crash, but life’s all about getting back up and continuing to try.

    Conclusion

    Life isn’t perfect, and we’re all caught up within our own worlds, riding our own waves. Time goes on regardless, but if I die tomorrow, I can at least say in my final moments I pushed myself forward until the very end, and I dedicated my best self to everything, and everyone, regardless of the outcome. Our time here is limited, but our resolve toward our lives is what makes it special.

    Continuing to look forward, hope you do too. – JayesusR

  • Weekly Update 1

    Overview

    This was a week indeed. As with every passing day, I experienced a plethora of changes, in the same way any progress is made. Pushing forward results, getting new, and to an extent old setbacks, alongside the dance that is the process of growth.

    Good, bad, and everything in between, I often go through shifts as well as cycles where everything lines up perfectly, then I decided to continue pushing forward the boundaries of success, and am met with new resistance to overcome. This is what progress looks like, and I am learning to welcome it with open arms. The shifts in attitude and mood were plenty, having experiences of joy, sorrow, anxiety, and frustration. A lot of bad for the little good, but I’m learning to focus on the good, to the best of my abilities. Sometimes depression hits hard, and in the past I’ve noticed a negative correlation in my trading with my depression. In theme of focusing on the good however, I’m happy to say that this weeks in terms of trade results, I noticed no correlation whatsoever. My mood didn’t (As frequently) have a direct effect on my decision making. This week more often than not, it only meant I wasn’t happy while doing the process of trading.

    This doesn’t mean I don’t experience my own battles, both internally, or with my process. It’s ever flowing like a river, in constant motion, crashing, and moments of calmness, leaving me with only a chance to relish in my victories, before being met with the crashing shifts as the river flows ever forward.

    What I’m Expecting

    With the end of the week here, I’m left only able to look on forward for the coming changes that I’m expecting and preparing for.

    This week in terms of that has been better than others. I feel like every time I was pulled back from progress, I slingshot forward further, and continued to see overall positive change. I’m expecting the same next week, choosing to trust myself enough to expect continuous results in the form of a bigger picture outlook.

    I’ve experienced difficulty with this in the past, and still very much struggle as often times I bring myself to the present and realize the circumstances I find myself under, but I’m trying my hardest to shift my views in those moments from self pity to making progress. Making a schedule, and planning my days to an extent has helped with this, as it allows me to see everyday as a new opportunity, as well as maintain the focus necessary to push myself in the right direction and maintain momentum, at least for that particular day.

    I’m sure next week will be no different, providing me with the full spectrum of my emotions, alongside the clarity after. The river will flow, taking me down my journey toward the goal I seek, with many bumps along the way.

    Conclusion

    I look forward to whatever comes next, and welcome it with open arms. Hopefully whatever it is I go through, I’ll be able to maintain an overall positive outlook and push onward.

    Hope you enjoy your weekend. – JayesusR

  • When Effort Meets Failure

    The Truth Behind Struggle.

    Struggle is part of everyday life. People can struggle with relationships, their work, their own feelings, even the simple mundane things like getting out of bed in the morning. When I struggle in my work, I’m forced to face myself, and attempt to identify and fix the issue I’m facing. This is the constant battle to overcome, as without overcoming adversity, you’ll only be met with further problems.

    The practice of self reflection and evaluation doesn’t come without a cost. Taking a step back, and attempting to view yourself in an objective manner tends to offer new perspective. In my case, the struggle I’m forced to overcome when practicing reflection is attempting to do so in a positive manner, with the intention of producing positive outcomes, as opposed to only shooting myself down. There is no progress in self depreciation, only in constructive criticism, but a problem I face often is attempting to not think any less of myself over my mistakes. I’m only human, and without mistakes to make, I wouldn’t be needing to improve, so of course I’m going to be facing new, and potentially old problems any day they show up. Doing so while acknowledging my self value isn’t any less is a dire viewpoint I must come to understand.

    Discipline in Negativity.

    Talking down to myself yields no true purpose. Some would say that in today’s world, everyone’s too sensitive and we need to be tougher on ourselves, and those around us if we wish to meet progress personally, and even as a society, but I don’t entirely agree. I believe this perspective comes from the point of confusing failure with acceptance, and while true some people tend to be okay with failure, treating it as such, there’s many who wish to surpass their limitations, without the need for constant judgement, from themselves or those around them.

    Acknowledging my mistakes, and overcoming the challenges I face requires scrutiny, but providing the effort necessary leaves little room for the impact negative thoughts and emotions provide. At best, they may apply some form of thinking that will lead to a hopefully positive outcome, but if its at the cost of my self respect, then in turn I’ll think myself less capable on a deeper level, and potentially come to new problems that forked from the original one. There’s a very fine line with negative outlooks and positive results. Logic determines that for something to require fixing or change, there must be a problem at hand. This logic leads to a positive end, because the issue was acknowledged, which lead to a solution. Once that fine line is crossed however, you enter new territory where you’re faced with more negativity than necessary. An example – I must fix my roof so that water doesn’t get in. The solution is to take the necessary steps toward fixing the roof. No fine line crossed, I can focus on doing what’s necessary. Now lets cross that line – If I don’t fix this roof, there’s going to be water damage. I need to fix this roof and fast, it could rain any day now. What if it rains tonight? Adding this context, while maybe true, doesn’t provide any sort of solution to the problem at hand. Some people would argue that thinking this would lead to a faster outcome. To that I propose, if you were more disciplined in your thoughts, your actions, and overall self, then the speed at which you provided a solution would’ve stayed the same, because you would’ve been able to acknowledge the severity of the problem at hand, and work toward the solution at the rate necessary, without the hindrance of the added negativity. In fact, you can make an argument that with the added negativity, you might end up haphazardly fixing the roof in a rush, maybe skip a step here, do it faster there, whatever the case, and end up with a lesser quality result than if you just maintained the disciplined attitude to fix the problem, and let that be your driving focus.

    Conclusion

    All this to say, its okay to treat yourself with respect. You deserve it more than you might think, and acquiring the discipline to think of yourself in that light requires it’s own work and journey, but it’s one that’s worth the effort necessary. It isn’t always easy, and its definitely something I struggle with every day, but I try to look at the progress in process, and trust that one day this discipline will hold fully true for me, as it hopefully may already for some of you.

    With love and respect. – JayesusR

  • The Difficulties of Positive Outcomes

    Awareness To The Process.

    When there’s any goal worth working toward, there’s always going to be a path taking you through the journey you experience. As people we tend to believe many things in life to be linear, including this metaphorical path we take toward our goals and through life, but often times fail to realize the true direction these paths take us through.

    Once a goal is achieved, or even in the process toward progress, when looking back at the challenges we’ve triumphed, many including myself look back at them as the next step we took forward, a stepping stone in the journey. What tends to be overlooked however is the difficulty and work it took to overcoming that stepping stone. There tend to be more set backs than we realize, as no problems ever easy, if it was, then it can’t classify as a real problem, maybe a temporary setback. What I’m referring to is the challenges within those challenges that caused the real progress to occur. The process of progress rarely comes naturally, and so many give up at the first sign of struggle, unaware that’s whats causing them to stay in place. You need to learn the process of growing before you’re able to reap the byproduct caused by it.

    Struggling With Progress.

    Learning to love the process is vital in my opinion, both for any goal, and for life. The saying “It’s about the Journey, not the Destination” has always resonated well with me, but working toward my own growth caused me to view it in a new light. I never understood the meaning those words held, not at their core. Sure you can talk about a physical journey, or a metaphorical one such as having a goal, and use it as a way to focus on the now, not the end, but to me, it’s meaning is a little deeper. I see it as the journey within myself. Not just my life, not just my story, not only the path I walk down, no. Who I am, who I want to be, who I will be. That’s the journey that truly drives me forward, and guarantees to me that no matter what it is I want in life, I’ll achieve it. The journey one can take within themselves far surpasses the importance of any goal, because without growth in the self, there can’t be growth outside the self. You’re the driving factor behind what you can achieve, and if you’re not ready for progress in yourself, ready for change within, then you can’t expect change anywhere else. It starts with you.

    This is a very personal and difficult journey, and sometimes the change that must occur can be far greater then originally perceived. This was the case for the journey I’m currently going down, and its been a long, very difficult process. I’ve had to face myself, break myself down to the core, and rebuild from the foundation up, everything I needed to do, understand, and change. In the beginning it felt impossible to achieve, like the means had no end, but slowly I saw progress, I perceived change, witnessed growth. It took a while, but I’ve come to the point where I can start to see it, the change within me, the progress I’ve worked toward, and the surface of the next stepping stone down my journey. When I look back, my capabilities far surpass what I once imagined possible, and it’s hard to envision the reality before me. Though this progress is starting to lead me toward my next stepping stone, it’s difficult to accept the growth that’s occurring within. Not that I reject it, far from it, more so that I know who I once was. I’m familiar with the version of me who hasn’t grown, who did get stuck, who knocked himself down. How can I accept this version of me I’m becoming and worked so hard toward if I don’t even know him? How can I open myself up to the possibility that my work is paying off and I’m possible of everything I’ve dreamed of and more? That the version of me I had to tear down actually had potential. It’s harder to accept, to acknowledge than I realized it would be. I’ve still got miles ahead of me before I can say I represent everything I want to be in life, but progress in that direction is the only thing that’ll get me there, so I must learn to welcome results with open arms, and do my best to avoid self sabotage.

    Conclusion.

    Writing like this really helps me gain insight toward my thoughts, as sometimes I tunnel vision and manage to avoid understanding what I’m really thinking. I believe my thoughts have reason, and whether I understand them or not, coming to learn the message behind what I’m thinking about is necessary to address what specifically I’m going through, and come up with a resolution of sorts. Whether it’s learning who I am, or getting something off my chest, this process really helps me, and I’m glad I get to send these types of thoughts and messages out there to share with the world.

    Looking forward to writing again. Till next time. – JayesusR

  • Finding Purpose

    The View I’ve Developed.

    Life tends to be full of so many changes, situations, and outcomes, that over time, it can become increasingly difficult to keep track of it all. I think back to moments in my life where my view points were so vastly different than the ones I’ve taken to today, that it can be pretty shocking to have the comparisons. Life is full of wonder, surprises, and experiences that ultimately shape who we are and choose to become, but its always an everlasting process. There’s no end to the changes we experience, only new developments that further enhance a once held view point and allow it to evolve.

    When I look back at my life, I see a little boy full of hopes, dreams, and desires, wanting to meet his own expectations. Life hasn’t been terrible to me, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been terrible to me. There’s so many dreams I’ve crushed and given up on over the course of my life that younger me would’ve never come to understand. Nowadays I do understand, but shutting yourself down is hard, and heartbreaking. I want to be able to tell myself I can do anything, but reality is that I wont. Truly I believe I can, I know this sounds like I’m being negative or harsh with myself, but hold the thought until I finish, because for me its not about whether I can do something, because I believe I can achieve anything I put my heart to. It’s about am I willing to do everything I have to in order to achieve it, and understanding that makes the difference. The truth is, there’s plenty of things I’d love to do, but have become unwilling to put forth the work. It’s not out of laziness, or lack of confidence, only that I don’t believe it becomes worth my time and effort. I believe what sparked these changes in me has been my overall view on how I value myself, and how I value my effort.

    Up until this point, I’ve always been very aimless. I never had a real goal post for what I wanted, I just kind of went where I ended up. I had ideas of what I wanted out of life, but didn’t have a pathway to guide me along the way. Until the day that changed.

    The Spark.

    Investing and finances ended up playing a huge role in my life. They opened the way for me to start having a better idea of what I wanted, and how I wanted to get it. This change in me developed something huge – It gave me self purpose. I have a family, and I love them with everything in me and more. I’d do anything to help and protect them, but ultimately I tied my value to them, not myself. As far as I was, and to an extent, am concerned, I have no self worth. I haven’t done anything to earn that value, not for my standards with myself. That’s where trading comes in.

    Now it’s not that I tie all of my value to the action I’m doing, I don’t want that confusion, but the purpose it’s given me to work toward something I feel passionate about, that’s something I hadn’t felt for a very long time. Having something to work toward, that will benefit you and those you love around you is the truest form of motivation and inspiration. For myself I couldn’t care less, and I know that’s something I need to overcome and work on, but for my family? The skies the limit, and I’d truly move mountains if it meant making them happy. Finding something to strive toward that would not only benefit me, but them too? And I enjoy everything involved in the process? I couldn’t ask for anything better to dedicate my time and life to. It’s my goal, and my responsibility to come out on top for them, because when I do, I know the change that’ll come. Having a goal to aspire to like this allows me to have hope for a better future, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted.

    My view on life vastly changed once I felt I had self driven purpose, and though that purpose is for those around me, I believe that makes it all the more fulfilling and genuine. I’m not the type of person who can do something for himself, not truly, I’ve come to learn that, and I’m okay with it, because I make up for it with the love I choose to share. That was my spark, the one that got me to start taking life more seriously, the one that pushed me toward this journey of great undertaking that will one day have changed everything. Every trade a stepping stone, every word I write one step closer, every thought I have for my purpose.

    Conclusion

    I tend to be meticulous when it comes to my writing. I have multiple notebooks, each with their own purpose, and same with my journals. I’m trying to think on what kind of posts I want to write about here, as I’m doing this for my trading, but generally the topics I end up writing about are more on what were my thoughts and emotions for the day, and expressing that. This type of writing is more on the therapeutic side, as besides my journals, I struggle to really talk about my thoughts and feelings most of the time, which is how this all ties in to my trading, since the clearer my state of mind, the better I trade. Regardless, I’ll figure it out.

    See you next time. – JayesusR

  • The Hidden Sides to our Emotions

    How I Fooled Myself

    Looking back on my life, I don’t believe I ever handled my emotions well. Growing up I’d have a hard time expressing when something made me happy, sad, scared, upset, and everything in between, but I never realized until recently how important facing the underlying meanings behind those actions are, and what the consequences bred from the inaction would lead to.

    I’m not only referring to trading here, your emotions are an extremely important part of you. It only makes sense that the situations caused by lack of clarity in your handling of yourself would only bring unwanted consequences. Did lack of conceptualizing just how much I need to work on myself end up affecting my trading as well? Absolutely, but in this case, this is one of the more minor results of my lack of self awareness. The truth is, I can tie a lot of my past issues to the way my life has lead. Not to confuse me blaming past actions for my current standing in life, I blame myself in that manner, but simply put, I acknowledge when and where these problems began. What ultimately matters is how I proceed to move forward in life. I can’t sit back and not take action, the moment I realized the situation, that became a long forgotten possibility. I’ve never been one to just allow things to happen, I prefer to take charge and change outcomes. The future is often times in our control, its just about what we do to drive it, and where that takes us.

    All of this to essentially say, overcoming your emotions can be challenging, and a much more complex endeavor than many realize. There can be layers upon layers of situations, baggage, and then all the little things added in between. Add that to the fact that realizing there’s a problem to begin with, attempting to unpack that, and then being faced with the distraught it brings into your life? So many of us, myself included, tend to shy away, close up the doors, and put a lock on it. Sometimes not even on purpose, it just becomes a defense mechanism. An easy one to master at that. Do you know how easy it is to walk away? Many view it as something difficult, depending on the circumstance, but personally, I have to try my hardest to not walk away. In my personal life, I’d say that’s my biggest emotional fault, because walking away from a situation I have to decide to face, not be forced to, because there is a difference, is the only way you can move forward with the situation to begin with. It’s either face the music, or lock it up behind closed doors. Ignored forever, or until the door and all the previous ones come bursting forth in a manner you’d have never conceived. This moment for me, when my doors were burst open, locks shattered, in front of me every single situation, emotion, and memory I walked away from.. it nearly destroyed me down to my core. It was too much to handle, but I was left with no choice.

    My Reality.

    I sat with myself. Alone. Only my thoughts, my emotions, and whatever it was I was going to do with myself now. There’s no going back, no doors to hide behind, no memories to forget. It’s all there, out in the open, and I’m left with two choices – Face my reality, or build up my walls, put the roof on, get new doors, and lock it all away again. It’s funny, when I think back to these situations, I never even meant to hide away from these parts of my life, it just kind of happened.

    I made my choice. I’m facing myself, my music, and I’m choosing to move forward. This was probably one of the most truly difficult points in my life, but it’s all I could do, because its the only way I can progress myself as an individual, which in turn means any goal I have in life as well, and failure isn’t an option. I would sit with myself, headphones on to drown out the noise around me, in complete silence, left only with my thoughts, emotions, and memories. One by one, I worked through my story. Page by page, chapter by chapter, I faced my reality. I’d lie if I said it didn’t hurt. I’d lie if I said it doesn’t anymore, because it does. I still don’t know how much of that truly goes away, but it’s slowly getting better, so I guess we’ll see. The truth is though, that it doesn’t end there. There’s always new music to face, new realities to overcome, and it tends to get tangled up with what once was. For me at least, I still face the effects my past caused in my everyday life, because I’m still working through it all. This was never going to be a walk in the park, I knew that, sitting down with myself, going through the hurt, the pain, and choosing to keep going was only me playing catch up. I did it to myself in a sense, as I hid it all deep down, but I was also younger then, and going through a lot, so it’s okay. I choose to forgive my younger self for his lack of maturity, lack of awareness, and lack of emotional clarity. I’m usually really hard on myself, constantly for every mistake, every moment, but when I think back to when I was young, I’d say that kind of falls apart a little. It’s hard to blame him when he had such a small understanding of everything going on around and within himself. And who knows, maybe when I’m 50 I’ll look back to myself now and think the same thing. Only time will tell.

    I know this was a bit much, sorry for that, I got kind of caught up in the moment with writing on this topic and feel as though I rambled a little. This is a Trading blog, so if you’re for any reason wondering what the hell any of this has to do with trading, allow me to tell you, alongside the same reason I consider trading to be a spiritual endeavor. When you do the process of trading, analyzing and decision making, and you come up with a decision on what you’re about to do, all you’re left with is one thing – you now just have to take action. From the very moment you decide to do this, something within you changes, and depending on how well you handle yourself, you could be acting like a completely different person. The game changes, and it’s no longer analytical, it no longer becomes a battle to face your strategy, your logic, or anything in between. The real battle is with yourself, and the thing is, as a person, you are extremely complex. Your thoughts, behaviors, patterns, emotions, all of it directly affects how you handle yourself, and thus how you handle your trades. If you’re an emotionally unstable individual, whatever the reason may be, whether you have issues you need to work through, or your upset because you spilled coffee on yourself and for some reason you can’t get over it, it truly is statistically likely that you will trade worse for it. So facing yourself, to whatever capacity that needs to be, is just as important as the charts you face on the screen.

    Thank You.

    Today I didn’t write at all what I expected to write about. I knew this was the general topic, but I didn’t think this was how it would turn out. These are my favorite types of entries though, because when the writing just flows through me like this, especially on a topic I feel strongly about, I tend to feel really nice, and relaxed afterwards, and generally happy. Hope you enjoyed the read, or maybe got something from this. I’m sorry if you found it a bit of a heavy topic to read about, and if you’re going through something similar, in any capacity, I truly hope you work through things and feel better. It’s never easy, but going through it day by day is all we can do.

    You got this, take care. – JayesusR